i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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