You work out of a Hotel?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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