Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
