I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
