i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
