Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
