hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
even my farts smell like vagina
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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