first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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