She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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