Non-Jews are for practice
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
