The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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