google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
