i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm like, not good at living.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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