I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize