just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
