i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
