Your mouth is God's brothel.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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