Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
