4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
