My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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