Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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