Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
