I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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