Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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