I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.