So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.