singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sober January is a disaster.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
