yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
