WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize