It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think my moral compass just broke
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
