How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
