Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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