Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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