I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
PANTIES FOUND
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