I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
