yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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