just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
