Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
