Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
