Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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