.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
