I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
