I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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