Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there is glitter all over my balls
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