so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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