fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
