You're earring is so big in my mouth
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
