yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
