youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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