Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize