Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just want to make out with him forever
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You were trust falling into bushes
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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