My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
