i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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