He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
