Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My feet surprised me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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