That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.