one might say we're banned from that church
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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