I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize