wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.