would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's blow job season.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
