so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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