i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
