Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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